Conversations With John (Part 5)

“How did you know?” he asked me, pulling his fingers through his hair.

“What?” I asked, already knowing what he meant.

“That I would understand?” he asked.

I smiled at him for a moment, then leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

“I just did,” I said.  “I could feel you.”

I leaned back then, and he looked at me and for the first time I saw a hesitation in his eyes.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “Sometimes it is better not to ask why.”

I stood and made my way to the restroom, feeling his eyes on me.  I took a deep breath.

“What are you doing?” I asked myself, but I already knew.  There is living, and then there is being alive, and the one thing I knew was I needed was to be very, very alive.


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